Gratitude Sunday

Waxing gibbous moon on July 1, 2012

I am grateful for:

• giving a helping hand to friends. Helped Rishi at market and Davey transfer his chickens and goats to their new home. They are so cute, by the way!
• the calm of this particular summer day. Sunday is still and calm.
• affirmations and the wise Louise L. Hay.
• going about my day mindfully and perceiving each day as an adventure waiting to happen.
• the roasted root medley I had today. So goooood! Beets, carrots, and potatoes that I dived from the Trader Joes' dumpster (oh yeah). It went so well with the basil garlic dip I bought at the farmers' market. Bomb.
• finally being motivated to cook a home cooked meal almost everyday. Frugality is my main motivation right now. 
• walking under the almost full moon this evening. See picture above.
• deciding today that I will make a conscious effort to write my thoughts down on paper - for clarity and perspective

Other thoughts:

I've been having trouble meditating these past couple of weeks. I subconsciously choose to be stuck in negative thought patterns, and this somehow is magnified when I consciously decide to still my mind. Maybe I have not released these negative emotions fully. How can I release them in a wholesome manner, I ask myself. I never reached closure with Aaron's departure. It was a swift and unfulfilled connection... and now... nothing. I felt very numb to emotions at the time. I was repressing sadness so I could fast-forward the motions of detachment. Change should be gradual, I've learned. And now it's all rushing in and permeating my thoughts in negative ways. I combat this by fixing my thoughts in positivity. "I release him to his greater goodness," I tell myself. Aside from all this, however, I am happy and I know I will move on. You have to close a door to open a door.